I Refuse to Signal My Boyfriend’s $5,000/Month Mortgage. Am I Flawed?

Pricey Penny,

My boyfriend’s mom handed away in April 2022. In 2000, she refinanced her deceased mom’s brownstone. She had her identify and her two grownup sons’ names on the deed. Sooner or later, the home went into pre-foreclosure. She refinanced once more, however this time, she needed to take away her sons’ names from the deed. 

In 2022, his mother was out and in of the hospital. At one level, she was launched from the hospital and doing properly. I created a listing of economic questions my boyfriend wanted to ask his mom whereas she was in restoration. I used to be unaware of the above info relating to the deed on the time. 

In a while, I spotted he hadn’t approached his mom about her funds. It’s been eight months since his mom’s passing, and the mortgage lender has proceeded with foreclosures. He signed an settlement with the lender saying he’ll refinance the house. He has labored in development occasionally however has no pay stubs to point out. He requested me to refinance the house in my identify and related me to a lender. 

The month-to-month mortgage can be $5,000. He would not make sufficient to pay for the electrical energy invoice, water, and so on. I don’t make that a lot. The lender was saying that I’ve an excellent credit score rating, which made my boyfriend comfortable. I made a decision to not log out on any paperwork and instructed my boyfriend that I do not make that form of cash. 

Though I’ve my very own residence, I have been staying with him from the time main as much as his mom’s passing. I not too long ago came upon my landlord won’t renew my lease. On the similar time, I obtained a job supply that will probably be three hours from the place I reside. I had a dialog with him final week about us discovering an residence upstate and having a contemporary begin elsewhere. He refused to listen to me and have become upset, saying that I’m going to make him homeless as a result of I will not refinance his house. 

I requested him whether or not there are different choices. He stated the choices are to refinance or promote, and he has made it clear because the starting that he won’t promote the house below any circumstance. Previous to all of this, after I came upon his identify was not on the deed, I researched a probate lawyer for him and made a partial cost for the retainer payment. He agreed to pay the opposite half however has but to take action. 

Though my boyfriend has not contacted me since then, I really feel I made the fitting alternative. To what extent might I’ve been financially ruined?


Pricey D.,

If you take out a mortgage you’ll be able to’t make funds on, the financial institution finally forecloses on the house. A foreclosures judgment stays in your credit score report for seven years. Throughout that point, you face an uphill battle everytime you want financing or wish to lease a house. As a result of a foreclosures usually tanks your credit score rating by 100 factors or extra, you’ll usually should pay a safety deposit for issues like utility payments which might be sometimes waived for these with wholesome credit score.

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However none of this stuff are going to occur to you. That’s since you trusted your intestine, not your boyfriend or a sketchy lender pressuring you to tackle a $5,000-a-month mortgage you’ll be able to’t afford.

I’m assuming your boyfriend has been staying within the brownstone because the time of his mom’s dying. Ignore his whining about how your determination will depart him homeless. He must take duty for constructing his credit score and work historical past. It’s unlucky that he’ll have to maneuver, however that’s not your downside — particularly now that it seems like this relationship is over.

Had you refinanced a mortgage in your identify that you just couldn’t afford, you’d each finally wind up and not using a place to reside. You’d merely be laying aside the inevitable.

Since you may have a brand new job supply, this seems like the right time for a contemporary begin. In case you have the credit score and revenue to get accredited for a $5,000 month-to-month mortgage, you shouldn’t have an issue renting a brand new place upstate by yourself.

Placing your identify on any monetary doc can have lasting penalties. If you happen to’re ever confronted with signing a mortgage or another financing contract with a associate, ensure you’re doing so since you wish to construct a life collectively, not since you’re being pressured.

Robin Hartill is a licensed monetary planner and a senior author at The Penny Hoarder. Ship your difficult cash inquiries to [email protected].

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